Supporting your Team

What can you do to help colleagues with depression?

• Learn about depression. Take time to find out about depression and how it can be treated. Because if you know what to do and what to say, you can make a difference in someone’s life. Taking a Mental Health First Aid class is a great way to learn how to recognize and respond to someone experiencing depression.

• Listen with an open mind. When someone tells you they’re depressed, one of the most meaningful things you can do is listen without judgment. Don’t try to give advice — just help them feel heard, understood, and accepted. 

• Help the person get treatment or stay with it. This is the best thing you can do. Let them know that depression is common — and that help is available. Encourage them to reach out to a doctor or therapist and offer to help them do that if you think it’s appropriate. Mental Health America has a tool designed to help you figure out where to start.

• Stay connected. Check-in often with the person you’re supporting. You may want to ask them how they’re doing, invite them to spend time with you, or offer to help with everyday tasks. The important thing is to show up, listen, and show that you care.

• Take care of yourself. Ask others to give you emotional and practical support while helping a friend or loved one who has depression.

• Keep the numbers for these national suicide hotlines: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) and 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433). If you or someone you know talks about suicide or feeling hopeless, get help right away.

What to do if a colleague tells you they have a diagnosed mental health condition?

There’s no perfect way to respond when someone talks to you about something like a mental health condition. Just listening with an open mind can help them feel understood and supported. You can also say small things to let them know you care about them and want to help.

• “Depression or anxiety is a real health issue that can be treated. What steps can you take to talk to a doctor or counselor about how you’re feeling?”

• “I’ve noticed that you’ve been _____. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

• “Lately I’ve gotten the feeling that you’re having a difficult time, and I’m worried about you. What’s going on?”

• “It seems like you are going through a lot right now. Can we talk about what’s bothering you? Maybe I can help.”

• “You seem really down lately, and I’m starting to wonder if you might be depressed.”

• “I care about you, and it seems like you’re really struggling. Would you be open to talking to a doctor or counselor about what you’re going through?”

What not to say and why

• “I know exactly how you feel.”

• Why? Because no one knows exactly how anyone else feels. This is not a helpful way to make someone feel understood when their depression or anxiety has become overwhelming. 

• “Everyone gets depressed or anxious sometimes.”

  • Why? Because it sounds dismissive — and it’s not true. Everyone gets sad or feels anxious sometimes. Everyone does not get depressed and has panic attacks.

• “You have no reason to be depressed or anxious.”

  • Why? Because it can make people feel guilty, ashamed, or like their feelings don’t count. Life events can sometimes play a role, but depression often has no specific reason, trigger, or cause, while anxiety may have a particular reason, trigger, or cause that may not be valid to you. 

• “Hang in there. It will pass.”

  • Why? Because it’s unhelpful and untrue. Chances are, they’ve been feeling this way for some time, and it hasn’t gotten better — and that’s why they’re asking for support.

• “Don’t be so negative. Think happy thoughts.”

  • Why? Because if it was that simple, depression and anxiety wouldn’t exist. This statement implies that depression and anxiety are a choice — which is false. You can’t just will or wish it away.

The 5 steps to help someone in crisis

• Ask the tough question. When somebody you know is in emotional pain, ask them directly: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

• If they answer yes, “can we call someone together to support you?”

• Keep them safe. Ask if they know how they would do it and separate them from anything they could use to hurt themselves.

  • If you think they might be in immediate danger, call the Lifeline USA (1-800-273-8255).

  • Talk Suicide Canada (Talk Suicide) If you’re having thoughts of suicide, or are worried about someone else, Talk Suicide is here to listen. Connect to a crisis responder to get for help in without judgment. Call 1-833-456-4566 toll-free, any time – or text 45645 between from 4 p.m. to midnight EST.

• Be there and listen to their reasons for feeling hopeless. Listen with compassion and empathy and without dismissing or judging.

• Help them connect to a support system — whether it’s family, friends, clergy, coaches, co-workers, a doctor, or a therapist — who they can reach out to for help.

• Follow up. Reaching out to them in the days and weeks after a crisis can make a meaningful difference — and even help save their life.

• Get informed. Get involved.

• Everyone can help raise awareness about suicide prevention.

• Be prepared to help someone in crisis.